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Nugget and the Boat

30-Jun-09

I wrote a children’s story for fun. Enjoy!

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Little Nugget stood shivering in the water. The boys in the other lanes looked perched with eagerness – ready to swim. But Nugget wasn’t so eager. Today they had to swim backstroke. He hated backstroke the most.

He was a short for his age and of stocky build. It was as though the same amount of boy had been poured into a smaller mould. Poking him was like poking rock. He was THAT dense. It was terrible for swimming. He just sank like a stone. That’s why they called him nugget.

The only thing that Nugget liked about swimming was that in between laps he would play with his little, yellow boat. He liked to push it against the waves and pretend that it was lost in a great, stormy ocean.
The swimming instructor was pacing up and down the pool, inspecting each boy as he passed. When he came to Nugget he began to shout.

‘I told you not to bring that silly toy!’ he said.

‘But it helps me swim,’ Nugget replied.

‘Nonsense,’ shouted the instructor. ‘It hasn’t helped yet!’

All the other boys laughed. Nugget felt terrible.

‘This time I don’t want to hear you swim,’ the instructor said. ‘I don’t want to hear those grunting noises you make. You always make grunting noises!’

‘I get water up my nose,’ Nugget replied.

‘Nonsense! I do not allow grunting little nuggets in my pool. If I hear you grunt once, I’ll take away your toy. Understand?’

‘Yes,’ Nugget replied.

‘Alright then,’ the instructor said. ‘Now everyone get ready to swim and wait for the whistle.’

And when the whistle blew, the boys pushed off from the wall with a flurry of fists and feet. Nugget swam as hard he could, but soon felt himself sinking below the surface. The water splashed about his mouth and into his nose. He couldn’t breathe. When he gasped for air, it caught in his throat and instead made a little, grunting sound.

‘Captain overboard,’ he heard from somewhere, but couldn’t tell where.

The waves felt like they were getting higher and higher around him. The water had turned a dark, inky black. From nowhere came a howling wind, a piercing gale. He could see his little boat behind him. The waves tossed it back and forward like the little toy it was. But it was closer than he thought it should be, and it looked like it was getting closer!

‘Captain overboard,’ he heard again. This time it was louder. It was coming from the boat! He looked again and it was closer than before. Little figures ran up and down the deck hurriedly.

Nugget couldn’t stand it. The waves were monstrous now. Everything had gone dark. He felt so tired.

‘Cap’n ahoy,’ someone shouted. ‘Someone throw him a rope.’

Something splashed next to him and he grabbed onto to for dear life. Slowly he was pulled toward the boat. But the boat was huge! Rough bearded men peered at him over the stern. He was lifted to the deck but he fell to his knees. The men crowded around.

‘Give him space, give him space,’ a man said. He extended a hand and helped Nugget to his feet.

‘First mate Barley reporting Cap’n’

‘Captain?’ Nugget asked.

‘You took quite a spill,’ Barley said. ‘Worst sea faring weather I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the giant squid that came at us. I thought we’d lost you for good when it hit you. It’s gone now, but I fear it’ll be back before we make land.’

‘I was swimming backstroke,’ Nugget explained.

‘You were swimming for your life!’ Barely said. ‘Me, I would have swum freestyle. But no one knows the ocean like you do. Now, we need a plan. My advice is for us to push forward against the storm. No point giving up now.’

‘But what if the squid comes back?’ Nugget asked.

‘Then you’ll just have to kill it,’ Barely replied. ‘I see you lost your cutlass. Here, take mine.’

‘But I don’t know how to kill a giant squid,’ Nugget said.

‘Ah Cap’n,’ Barely said. He knelt down beside Nugget and placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘I aint seen a finer swordsman than you. Aint known a finer Cap’n neither. You’ll slay the beast if anyone can. She’s your ship and we’re your crew. We’ll go forward if you order it and we’ll make it to land I’m sure of it.’

‘Then let’s do it,’ Nugget ordered.

‘A har!’ the crew shouted and the dispersed about the deck, tending to rigging and pulling at the sails. The boat heaved against the storm, but they pushed forward nonetheless. Every now and again Barley shot Nugget a wink that gave him hope.

Just then there was an almighty crash. A huge tentacle had risen out of the water and snapped a mast. The sound of wood and rigging collapsing to the deck was deafening.

‘Squid!’ shouted the crewman and they dashed about in panic. The head of the beast could be seen at the bow. Tentacles were flying everywhere. A great, yellow eye scrutinised the vessel.

‘Now’s your chance,’ shouted Barley.

Nugget nodded and rushed to the bow of the ship. He swung his cutlass at the great eye but his reach was too short. He climbed to the tip of the prow, but still could not reach. There was nothing for it. He would have to meet the beast in the water. He let go the prow and fell into the water.

The beast was just in front of him. He thrust the sword into its belly and heard a thunderous cry of pain. The tentacles rose up in the air all at once and then disappeared beneath the waves. The beast was gone.

‘You did it,’ shouted Barley from the boat. ‘Now swim for land. Our mast is broken, but you can still make it. Swim now before you lose your strength. We’ll catch up when we can.’

Nugget smiled and waved goodbye. He swam as hard as he could against the waves. It wasn’t long before he felt the wall of the swimming pool against his palm. He looked around. The great ocean was gone, the waves had returned to their normal size. His little yellow boat bobbed in the water beside him. He was the first to reach the other side. The other boys gasped when they saw what he had accomplished.

‘So, it seems you know how to swim after all,’ the instructor said. ‘And you didn’t even grunt!’

Nugget didn’t say anything. He was feeling too pleased.

‘But what was all this nonsense you were shouting. Ahoy this, and matey that. You sounded like a pirate. I won’t have any nuggetty little pirates in my pool.’

‘No sir,’ Nugget replied. But he no longer cared what the instructor said.

Australian Government Fining 10000 Per Day for Linking to Wikileaks

17-Mar-09

See the full story here:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/home/technology/banned-hyperlinks-could-cost-you-11000-a-day/2009/03/17/1237054787635.html

Suffice to say that this is completely outrageous. As we all suspected, the government is seeking to silence critical discussion on the internet of their censorship plans. It’s incredulous that they have moved so quickly beyond their supposed concerns about protecting children.

Here is the link that has been banned:

http://www.wikileaks.org/wiki/Denmark:_3863_sites_on_censorship_list,_Feb_2008

My site is not hosted in Australia however - so as far as I know I can’t be fined. I encourage everyone to similarly post this link on their blogs, on facebook, everywhere.

We Now Have to Get Police Approval to Wear a T-Shirt - World Youth Day

02-Jul-08

SMH is reporting that we have to get our t-shirts (and other protest material) approved by the police or risk facing arrest and/or a 5500 dollar fine. These draconian laws have come into effect to protect the “pilgrims” coming to Sydney on World Youth Day - a Catholic religious event being attended by the Pope.

I’m getting pretty damn sick of governments telling me what I can and can’t say in public places. Who’s with me?

You know what would be cool? If ten thousand of us showed up wearing this on a t-shirt:


Taken from James Flaxman

But although there is a general backlash against these laws - none of our politicians or leaders are standing up against them. The religious right has too much of a hold over politics in Australia. Of course, it’s a slippery slope. And I’m beginning to think that pretty soon general freedoms of expression will be curtailed. After all - if they believe it is right to silence debate on such issues on the streets, what is logically stopping them from extending their suppression to the print media or to the internet?

The only other possibility is that there decision here isn’t completely arbitrary. Most people agree that it is the government’s responsibility to provide law and order - to protect the pilgrims from violence, to allow them to continue their worship of their deity. I’m in total agreement with this. But the next stage is to desire to protect them from offensive behaviour. This is the point at which we get on the slippery slope. Is handing out a condom offensive behaviour? The police are refusing to rule it out. Wearing a t-shirt is expression - that’s all. In and of itself, it’s not violent behaviour - it might be offensive depending on the content, but it doesn’t prevent anyone from communing with god. On the other hand, there have been racial vilification laws in place for some time now in this country. Can we interpret these new police laws in this sort of vein?

Well - there is one clear reason why not - it’s pretty clear in most cases what kind of language is racist. We all have pretty strong intuitions about it - and what’s more, these standards haven’t been arbitrarily imposed by the government. They very much reflected the views of a large proportion of the community. In this case however, there are no clear lines about what is offensive and what is not. The dutch learnt this the hard way. And so we reach the key question:

WHY THE FUCK DO THE POLICE GET TO DECIDE?

Sorry for the shouting. Just angry…

Ubuntu Hardy + Compiz + Dual Desktop = True Nerdom

29-May-08

Again, have had little time to write a post. Have all sort of interesting things to write too. Hopefully events will permit soon.

I do want to announce however, that I have made it into the ranks of the truly nerdy. I have recently setup a dual boot ubuntu/xp on my main pute - and I gotta say Ubuntu looks absolutely fantastic on it. I’ve also recently acquired another monitor from my good friend Hamish. Here’s to you old friend. Enjoy it up in Paris for me.

Anyway - here’s a poor quality video of the setup with some of the compiz effects. Swish!

Save the Kitty

21-Apr-08

Haven’t had time to write anything particularly profound on this blog of late - way too much to do thesis wise. But I do have a cute kitty story.

One of my neighbors started feeding a feral cat that had been skulking around. It got used to the idea of free food and started hanging around more frequently. One day it brought this little kitten - left it in the garden in the pouring rain. My neighbor cleaned it up and gave it residence in an unused toilet out the back of our building. Mama cat liked the idea and now that’s where they both hang out.

Problem is - none of us wants a cat (well I want one - but am unable to take on the responsibility right now), and so kitty is going to have to be taken down to the cat protection society. Problem is that not all cats can find a home and they get put down when they can’t. Poor Kitty! But it’s young and cute - so maybe it has a chance. If anyone wants a kitty - then feel free to contact me via the contact form on this site.

Things are probably more dire for mama kitty. She’ll keep breeding - and so something will have to be done. She’s feral and isn’t approachable by humans - as you’ll see in the video. It’s unlikely someone will adopt her - as she’ll be quite a bit of work to tame.

Anyway - here’s a video of the cute little kitty.

Australian ISP-Level Net Filter Will be a Referendum on Porn

27-Feb-08

The recently elected Labor government in our blessed country is proceeding relentlessly in their quest to implement an isp-level net filter with trials soon to be conducted in Tasmania. Once again common sense goes out the window and we have a government ramming a solution down our throats that only the sectional religious interests actually want. But I’m not too worried. Why? Because the government is setting itself up for an immense embarrasment. And it’s forcing out into the open something that the rest of the country has been happy to keep under the rug. And what is this something? Well, it turns out - shock horror - a lot of us really, really like porn.

More…

Response From Anonymous

06-Feb-08

Just a short post - as I’m at an internet cafe on holiday.

I just wanted to say that the response from Anonymous to my post on their movement has been fantastic. Their ability to address the criticism contianed in the article and respond positively to it gives their movement credibility and I believe - strength. I wish them the very best for their day of protest on the 10th of Feb - and urge all to join in on the legitimate peaceful protests.

I was contacted by a member of anonymous and asked to post their email to my blog. So I now post this email in full:

Anonymous <***@***.com> wrote:
I’d just like to infrom you that “Call us many, for we are legion.” Is actually
from the bible, I forget what book and chapter. My now Atheist views have
somewhat dimmed my previous knowledge of the bible.
I would also like to comment on the astounding accuracy, bar the legion
reference, of your article. We have now moved on to Peaceful protesting and, as
The wise beard man calls it, Ghandi-tech. The support and advice of people like
you is much appreciated by anon and has been taken into account.
We will remove any anon who disrupt the proceedings on the 10th of February and
provide the police with evidence, thus hopefully discouraging anon from illegal
activities. The same tactic will also be helpful for uncovering $cientology
spies and eliminating them legally.
Anon would appreciate it very much if you posted this on your blog.
Many thanks, Anon.

A couple of problems…

01-Feb-08

The guy I was sharing a server with freaked out about my piece on Anonymous - and has insisted that I get off ‘his’ server before it got hacked. I was critical of anonymous to some degree - but am of the opinion that they are more reasonable than that, given especially that many of them have left positive and constructive comments. My friend did not share this view.

So I have had to change hosting. This has led to some problems - with the links to posts not working. Am working on the problem - but not sure when it will be fixed.

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Update - just turned out to be the permalinks.

The Anonymous War on Scientology

29-Jan-08

What should we make of this war on Scientology being conducted by the enigmatic internet group - Anonymous? (I hesitate to label them as anything beyond a ‘group’ since they themselves seem to try to resist various kinds of labels (such as hackers)) For those who don’t know, this group has popped up in the last week or two with a number of videos on youtube claiming that they were going to conduct a war against the Church Of Scientology. I’ll come to those videos in a moment. Subsequently, they were able to shut down the Church of Scientology website with a denial of service attack, an act designed to gain them media attention. If their boast to the effect that they are a force strong enough to destroy a powerful institution like the Church of Scientology is accurate, then we should be disturbed enough to ask a couple of very important questions. First we should ask after the nature of such a group. Second, what does it say about our culture that such a group should arise (obviously you need to answer the first to answer the second). And last, is the existence of such a group desirable? I’m going to examine these three questions in order. Anonymous - I believe is the product of a culture starved society that is losing faith in the institutions designed to protect its freedoms and its liberty.

More…

Debating a Ron Paul Supporter

10-Jan-08

I’m not sure if this is of interest to anyone - but I recently engaged with an extended discussion with a Ron Paul supporter on Reddit. A story was posted about Ron Paul winning a straw poll and various criticisms were made of Paul supporters for believing their own hype. Our discussion became an extended examination - and disagreement - on the nature of dogmatism. This isn’t exactly socratic splendor on offer here, but I think it nicely displays the huge gap of understanding that can exist between different parties.

My interlocutor Aletoledo has been quoted so you can distinguish who is speaking. The original discussion can be found here

More…